I just want to second everything Boner Party says about the newly curvaceous Jessica Simpson. That’s not obesity, that’s just cushin’ for the pushin’. Also, last time I checked, the U.S. is the fattest country in the history of civilization…so umm, lots of these bloggers are porkers as well, yours truly included. Skinny chicks need to eat more high fructose corn syrup is what I’m saying.
10 months agoi’m sorry everybody - this is a big break from bookish brunettes - but jessica simpson in mom jeans? dude i’m so there.
she should be a poster girl from the Eat A Cheesburger Foundation because i like a girl with some meat on her. and this? this is like, pinnacle. oh man. this is like a human Six Flags. i’m not sure i want to ride first.
oh you wouldn’t? oh you’re “too good”? sorry dude i’ll get back to posting Ms Sadness McPoutface tomorrow. obviously you don’t know how to live and are still hung up on the fact “Vice sucked once Gavin left” or some shit. jesus, son. get out there. take her to Waffle House and buy her a milkshake on that first date. no-one gives a shit about your fucking loft and what kind of onitsuka tigers you’re wearing. nobody.
plus: one day you’ll be 75 and unable to get a boner. and you’ll see a girl like this walk by and you’ll go “man, i wish i’d done as many of those kinds of girls as possible”. this LIFE WAS MEANT TO BE LIVED. don’t get hung up on the Wokano waitress just because she has bangs and glasses.
gotta catch ‘em all, bro. its like Pokemon.
(photo via someone on snuh)
